Working at Ad Agencies When You're Bored

It's pretty much the only time I EVER write for myself. And I don't even have anything clever to say.

Except that Dostoyevsky was an existentialist faggot.

Bored, Lame, Bored, Stupid

I don't even know why I'm writing this, because the only thing to do when I'm at work and it's slow goes something like this:
Gmail, facebook, facebook, facebook, gmail, CNN, facebook, facebook, lunch, gmail, facebook, iPhone Texas Hold 'em poker, facebook ad infinitum. Oh and I suppose there's this stupid blog I'm doing.
Being slow at work is one of the worst things in the world. Especially when you're in a cubicle. In an open area. If I was back in my office, I could basically do anything short of whipping it out and flogging it. Hate this.
Then you think, hmm, I'm bored, maybe coffee will make me un-bored. NOPE! Still bored, and now, jittery.
And we've got these fucking auditors in the office all week. We do it every year. 5 douchebags fresh out of college, with their lap tops, taking up our only conference room, walking around with these dumbass looks on their faces. I just want to pop out of my cube and flatten one of them. Boredom makes me angry I guess. I can't tell you why I hate the auditors, just that I do.
Ok. I'm going to get some coffee now so I can be super jittery while I check my email and facebook people I don't even like.

In Bars

I can't really tell you how many bars I've been to. But I can tell you I've wasted about (lemme get the calculator out) 100,000 hours in the last 18 years in bars. It's sad really. I mean, what's to find in a bar? I suppose it starts out as fun when you're a kid, it's new, you can get booze there, booze makes you happy, silly, stupid, brave, funnier (to yourself) and a ton of other lame things that are not real. But you don't care. You're six beers deep with a shot of Jager coming and you're chatting up some girl who you think is the hottest thing since sliced bread and you're having a great conversation "what? you're at Random University? That's awesome, hey you don't happen to know So and So do you? No probably not, lots of students at that school. No way I'm an English major too...no I don't want to teach, do you? Really, that's great. Want a shot? Great lets get one." And the drunker you get and the drunker she gets the closer you get to hooking up with her and then you realize as you're both walking out of the bar to do god knows what that you can't remember her name. That's ok though, hopefully there will be minimal talking coming up and thus less of a chance for you to have to remember her name.

Then this:

Shit, where am I? Who the fuck is this? Oh yeah, her. Eeesh. ok. Slip out of bed. Put clothes on...and she wakes up. DAMMIT. Hey, yeah, Ive got a BUNCH of shit to do today. Yeah of course I'll call you. Write down your number. (this is before cell phones) Great. I'll call you soon. I had a lot of fun last night too. Ok. (kiss) I'll talk to you soon.

You look at the paper she gave you. Chloe? There was no way I was gonna remember that last night. Then you start to forget what she looks like. Is she cute? Part of you wants to meet her again just to see what you went home with. If she's cool or not. If she's datable. Jesus. Did I use protection? Can't even remember. Time for a call to the doc for a blood test. This is so awesome. And there's no cabs around at 8am on a sunday? There's one cab in San Francisco and it's on the other side of the city. Keep walking shithead.

But what a great way to meet people. In bars.